That which changes us...

So that's what my kid looks like, wow, that's just gross and wrong isn't it? No wonder God doesn't let 'em come out looking that way, none of them would leave the hospitals.

John Welwood said "The most powerful agent of growth and transformation is something much more basic than any technique: a change of heart. "

Let me just say to all those macho types out there, this will change your heart. My kid is only in his fifth week of developing into a human and I've already experienced changes within myself that anyone who knows me would tell you are a big deal.

Just this past weekend alone I cooked like three times, and I actually vacuumed, did the dishes and cleaned up the laundry room. And guess what? I still had time to do some manly stuff like burn myself with a soldering iron while I was trying to fix a guitar tuner. Isn't that awesome (my finger still stings, damn those things get hot).

I don't know, I'm just in a different place with my perspective, I care even more about what my wife thinks of certain plan and ideas that I have and I really want her input more than ever before. I mean, I always valued her opinion, but now it's like I need it before I can proceed.

It's great, the well wishes and everything. Everyone makes it sound so exciting.

And then there's that part of you that's worried that you won't have a clue what to do with this little person once they actually exist. I mean I know what I'll name her once she's here. But that seems to be all I know beyond the obvious functions that every human must perform.

Thankfully I have found an awesome book that was written by a guy who has my wonderful sense of humor. Through that I've been able to learn a few good things, hopefully more will come before I am finished reading.

I never thought that I would feel so completely up in the air about anything in my life, but then again "It is a bad plan that admits of no modification." Or at least, that's what Publilius Syrus said back in the first century B.C. Good thing my plan with my wife did admit modification, in case you're wondering, that means, "allow change."

change gives us branches ~Pauline R. Kezer

I am excited and nervous in a hundred different ways right now, but that's okay, I shouldn't know everything. I've never done this from start to adulthood before. In fact, I've only had limited practice in a few stages that come right in the middle of the start and adulthood. So here's hopin' I don't screw this kid up too bad, leave him with some good morals, and teach her how to get by without having to constantly scrounge and borrow. If I can do that much, I think I can feel pretty good about it, but hopefully I will do better than just that.


Till next time then...and wish me luck...

Damn Teachers

So what does everyone out there think about this? I'm curious because I've heard it spread all over the conservative airwaves this week that if Debbie LaFave were a man, or even if she were
just less attractive, then there would be no argument, she'd be in jail.

Is that true? Would it really not matter if it were a male teacher that looked like George Clooney? Would your outlook be any different is she were less attractive, or if she were older (think Madeline Albright or Hilary Clinton)???

Face it, if she were a man, she'd be in prison, end of story. It wouldn't matter if the teacher was 23 and the student was 17, if the teacher was a guy, he'd be looking through bars for a good many years. That's all there is too it.

It really sickens me that we can justify this behavior in our own country while simultaneously saying that the war in Iraq is immoral. Maybe we should think about that a little.

I guess I could understand the lackluster attitude if it had been a college professor and student, but it wasn't, and even then, a man would, at the very least, be fired for the indescretion.

Wait, I know, affairs are always the man's fault, right? Okay, but how do you explain this one then? Because you see, there is no man involved here. There is merely a 14 year-old child who was taken advantage by a 23 year-old woman who should've known better, or at the very least, shoul've been more responsible in her decision making.

"But she has mental illness" you say. Well, okay, let's put her in an institution to serve her sentence then. Isn't that what you'd do with a mentally ill person who murder or beat someone? How are Ms. LaFave's actions any less predatory than that? Please tell me...anyone?

Here is the problem. We are in a culture that just doens't give a damn. The kid should just be happy he won't die a virgin. And we she just be thankful she didn't molest any small children, cuz those are the real criminals, right?

But think about this kid having to explain all of this to the woman he hopes to someday marry. How hard is that going to be for him to share? How hard for her to hear? And in the end, will it be the deal breaker for his lifelong happiness?

My heart goes out to this kid and his family. I want to encourage them to talk about this and expose all of their true feelings about it. Do this in a controlled environment, and do it until everyone has gotten everything out. It's his only hope of not being completely screwed up for life from all of this.

And to those of you who think it's no big deal. Maybe we should send your asses to Iraq, at least then we wouldn't have to put up with your apathy anymore.